Part 1: 6 Challenges with Custom Builds - What Shocked Us & Tips if You're Building a Custom Home
- Molly Ishmael
- Sep 26, 2021
- 8 min read
Updated: Feb 13, 2022
If you're thinking about building a custom home, I advise reading this post so you know what you're in for! It's absolutely exciting - but it's also a maze of unexpected choices and challenges that if we had known in advance, we could better have prepared. Well, we're learning and we will SHARE!
The experience of building totally custom is VERY different than working with a "neighborhood" builder who has pre-set options only. I guess we didn't realize that going in, but we do now! The more information you have going in, the better you can arm yourself with the right questions and expectations so your process is as stress-free as possible. No construction process is totally without stress, but there are definitely ways to minimize issues and challenges that will reduce your stress level (and help stay on budget) as you move through the process.

How wide should a driveway be? That's a question I never had to answer until now! I measured our rental to find out.
Between the two of us, the hubs and I have built three new construction homes, but all through builder/developers who have limited, pre-set personalization options available. Typically in that situation, you choose one of several floor plans offered, pick a few structural options, and decide among a limited set of finishes that are usually ranked by levels so you can decide if you want to upgrade anything or stay within the base price allotment. One appointment typically guides you through a relatively simple process, usually taking a few hours to choose everything - floors, cabinets, hardware, paint, etc. Blow-by-blow, the designer can tell you exactly where you're splurging and by exactly how much, so you can make price-conscious choices on the spot. Finally, the loan is then secured after your total build price has already been calculated.
NOT SO WITH CUSTOM BUILDS. Read on!
I love my Lilly planner! It fits in my purse and has room for notes. (Bonus: no chance of electronic hackers.)
There are multiple differences in building completely custom versus (as I now call it) "personalized" new construction through a developer. In fact, the difference in the entire process is staggering. I'd like to take a moment to lay out 6 key differences I've noticed using a custom builder versus other construction experiences, as well as overall challenges to be aware of, as we know so far, of course. Maybe this post will help someone in the same ship. If someone had told us these things before, I believe we would still custom build the same house but we would have planned certain aspects of our move (and mortgage) differently.

Some of the finishes we initially chose, though we're still waiting to confirm. In the meantime, I'm loving the gray and white colors! It feels "chic cottage."
After waiting months to meet with our builder's staff designer to share our own unique design vision and choose finishes for the house, we finally had our appointment last week. We were very excited. We expected we would choose finishes and leave knowing exactly how much we were spending. What we did NOT know was that would be the first of many meetings with various vendors, some of which are hours away, and pricing is not always readily available.
PROS: With a custom build, you have hundreds, maybe thousands more options than with a pre-set floor plan. This means you can create a one of a kind home completely tailored to your family needs and personal taste.
CONS: Waiting on material information and multiple vendors can cause weeks of delays, which naturally is hard to swallow when you've been anxiously waiting to get started for months.
With that said, our design meeting(s) inspired me to write this post. Below I'll share the first 3 of 6 challenges I think EVERYONE should be aware of when building a custom home - and what to do about it! (Part 2 coming soon)
Prep for your build by brushing up on your design skills. This book is so inspiring! Plus, it looks great on a coffee table.

Our early renderings, including a note to call someone from the health department to schedule a perc test. We had to make sure the land could support water and septic - not glamorous, but important!
6 CHALLENGES WITH CUSTOM BUILDS - How to Prepare & Tips for Success (Part 1)
The process is fun but it's also a lot of work. And of course, since finances are involved, it can be stressful. The more prepared you are, the better!
1. Compare Your Land with Your Plans
If you're buying within a planned community, the developer has already planned and permitted each home site. But when you buy a random plot from Mr. Landowner who is selling off his property, you can't be sure if all your needs will be met - can a well be drilled easily, will the soil support septic, can you get cable and internet, is there road access to the land (we've actually seen plots for sale with no access... you can buy it but you can't get to it!) Because there's no HOA to lay everything out clearly in a rule book, you also have to check local laws to see what you're allowed to build; there are usually limits depending on zoning.
When we were land shopping, we saw some pretty strange things! We ended up loving the property we found due to the internet access and ability to build, though there were some drawbacks: dirt road, no arranged trash pick up, etc. There are also rules in our area regarding tortoise mitigation and regarding a particular bird... basically if certain wildlife is found, we have to relocate them to an equivalent habitat at our expense. Also, we are charged per tree that is removed in an ongoing effort by government to preserve nature. Of course, I totally agree with respecting wildlife and nature, so this is not a downside in my mind, but it IS something to consider depending on what you want to do with your land and how much it may cost to do so.
Takeaway Tip #1: Do as much research as possible before signing on the dotted line. Talk to realtors, local government, builders, inspectors, and walk the entire property. You won't regret it.

This stone is beautiful but does it come in the right length for our counters? We'll have to get our best detectives on that one!
2. Be Prepared for Multiple Design Appointments
For this one, I'm not referring to the process of designing the floor plan. We did that months before. That was its own series of back and forth but our builder was very helpful and we also knew exactly what we wanted. Here I'm just addressing the interior and exterior design choices. The reason for multiple appointments, of course, is that when designing totally from scratch, nothing is pre-set, so we have to choose every inch down to the tiniest detail - things we never worried about when working with a developer who has only certain options and limited customization available.
Everyone knows I LOVE design. BUT. We chose everything from the type of insulation on the garage door to the number of inches the garbage disposal button is from the sink. This is not my favorite part of design, though of course it is important; my head was spinning by the end of the first appointment. And I thought I was as prepared as could be! Who knew I'd need to dictate exactly the height of the lights above the bathroom vanities. (And since we don't have the mirrors yet, it's a bit hard to say.)
We couldn't do some of the design through our builder - they sent our plans to multiple vendors whom we worked with directly, who then coordinated back to our builder our choices - which sometimes had to be changed afterward when the pricing came back, since the vendors don't always have pricing on the spot. And by the way, neither did the builder's own designer. We are still waiting to get pricing on a number of items we chose last week. More on pricing in the next post, but just be aware of the time this process can take.
We arranged "grandparent daycare" (very popular with our daughter) for 3 out of 4 appointments so far. The one we took our toddler to claimed to take "a few minutes" and took 2 hours plus another 2 hours round trip of driving to their showroom, so we deeply regretted hauling our bored two-year-old to that one. I hope the staff liked Peppa Pig and animal crackers. Because that's what was piping through my phone by the end of the appointment. And smeared all over the consultant desk.
Takeaway Tip #2: Plan more time off work than you think for each appointment, and arrange childcare unless your kids like looking at pot filler price lists.

Having the cabinet samples were helpful when choosing tile.
3. Vendors are Your Friends! But They're Not Responsible for Your Design.
Vendors are a wonderful resource for experience with certain products. Be prepared for the appointment, but also be open to suggestions. That said, some vendors are going to suggest manufacturers they are most familiar with and might not be as familiar with the certain lines or newest manufacturer. Also, understand that builders and vendors don't order from big box stores; they have their own separate systems. So the fridge you saw at Lowes may not be available from the builder's appliance person. However, they can almost certainly find you something comparable for a similar price if you provide exact specs.
One thing to be aware of: vendors don't know what other choices you're making and you also cannot compare on the spot. In other words, you might choose cabinets at a different place than you choose flooring. The first designer reminded me to take pictures as we went along and that was very helpful. Also, accept any samples offered. I brought whatever samples I could with us to appointments, but for many items, I had to go on pictures. Depending on lighting of course, color tones can look different, so samples would be best.
Takeaway Tip #3: Be prepared for vendor appointment by taking samples of your other choices, pictures of your vision, and of course, arrange childcare if needed. Ask the vendor's opinions when you need it, but don't be afraid to stick to your instincts - and your budget.
Here's a second book by the same author above. This one is geared toward family-friendly lifestyle design.

It's called happy hour for a reason!
BONUS TIP: Have a bottle of wine chilling while you're at your appointments, so when you come home that night you can unwind with your partner and talk about your decisions.
Take a moment to toast to your future. If you don't drink, I promise that a tickle sesh with a laughing toddler works equally well! After all, it's exciting to watch your dreams take shape and it's a blessing to get to experience it.
Chances are, after a glass of bubbly or a laugh with your family, you'll realize that everything will be fine and you can return to enjoying the process. Anyway, that's how it feels to me.
With Love,
Molly
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